Monday, 28 October 2013

I drive him crazy

One of my new favorite bloggers, Laurie inspired me last week.. She wrote a very amusing post on being a good wife, you can check it out here, it cracked me up.

It made me think of my lovely husband. And then it made me think about all the ways I drive him crazy. So then I tried to count the ways, so to speak. After a period of self reflection, I have come up with a list. (Note, this is from my point of view, there is probably way more if you were to ask him).

- Battery - When I am on the laptop and the battery gets to a critical level - like, when the warning dialog box comes up, never fail, I start yelling "battery! battery! battery!" at my top volume until he gets annoyed and gets up and plugs the battery in. Lol it cracks me up to think of it, cos even I can appreciate how annoying it is.

- Fridge - I have no idea why. But, for some reason. I very rarely close the fridge door. Either I push it, it doesn't shut, and I don't stick around to check, or, I get distracted and walk away leaving it wide open. So usually 10 minutes later Rob will call out "Meow, you forgot the door again". I think the bloody thing is preferentially weighted or something.

- Driving ticket - I accidentally got Rob his first driving ticket on Friday. We were driving along a main road, and we went to turn left onto another main road. There was a sign that said "no turns" but it wasn't specific in directions, so when Rob said, "are you sure we can turn" and I said "yes" I felt fairly confident. To me, the sign was ambiguous. I interpreted it to mean "No U turns". However, the police officer waiting around the corner, whose sole responsibility is to ping people turning there, did not agree with my "interpretation". I mean, come on, there are people being shot in the arse daily in Houston, and this is your job? Did you piss someone off like in a movie, and you got stuck with that job, or do you just dig being a D-...... wait, I take full responsibility for this one. Just make clearer signs Houston.

- Dancing - I like to think that this drives him crazy in a "man, she is loveable" kind of way. I like to dance. In the middle of an intense football game, when its bed time, in the supermarket, at Target, at the gym, in libraries. Pretty much anywhere. I especially love standing in front of the TV when he is watching it, and breaking into a Nineties-esque boy band dance, that I am choreographing in my head as I dance it.

- Dress buying - I don't know if this makes him crazy, or if it is a useful tool for subduing me. Like, its a hobby/obsession for me. So, in theory, if he ever wanted to get me to do something or cheer me up, dress buying is a handy tool. However, I am sure the phrase "No actually, I don't have a pink colored polka dot dress..... maybe I have one in maroon, salmon and red, but not pink" must drive him a little crazy.

- Random thoughts - When I am not at work or being serious, I have trouble keeping thoughts straight in my head. I think about a lot of different things. So I am constantly asking random questions. Here is what a drive to the supermarket with me is like...
"If you were a cupcake, what flavour would you be?"
"Hey meow, what year were did the Faulklands war start?"
"Where are the Faulklands?"
"Why are they called the Faulklands? did they create forks there?"
"No, that is not a stupid question.. Manila folders come from Manila....
 ..Don't they?"
"Hey Maui, what is the Maori name for Foot? I can think of ear, and nose and mouth, and tummy.. but not foot.."
"What do you think the Maori word for Eel was before white man came to New Zealand?"
"Have you ever tried Eel?"
"Daddy tried jellied Eel once, but he said it was yuck.. Hey what was that corn stuff you tried once..?"
"Hey Meow, don't look but I think we have a tail... Im serious, I think we are being followed. Just kidding, wanna get burgers?"

- Weird eating habits - So, I am a weird eater. I try to only eat foods that I think are calorically "worth" it and that varies every day. My eating is a post all by itself, but I know it drives Rob nuts. Like, he loves a nice breakfast out, and I am a pain in the arse, because I never like the breakfast I order. And I go through phases when all I want to eat is soup. I also have a phase which comes and goes when I get the need to douse everything with Tobasco. Including his beautiful Lasagne.

- OCD - We are both OCD, but in different ways. This will sound straight out mean, but I know if I want to annoy him I just need to move the coasters into an asymmetrical pattern. I very rarely do it. I promise.

So I was aiming for 10 but I think anyone reading this is probably feeling very sorry for Rob right now, and I am about to lose a bunch of friends lol. But seriously, he really is so patient and loving, depsite my insanity.

Thanks Meow xx


  1. Hilarious! I really see nothing insane about any of this. Sorry about his ticket... But at least your retelling of it is quite entertaining! And thanks for the shout out!

    1. Haha I feel so bad for him when I read this over.. I'm a major pain in the ass lol. And of course - you inspired it : )

  2. lol This so made me laugh, especially the Battery!! Battery!! one lol

    1. Hahaha yep, I yell it so loud.. afterwards I crack up and what a dick I am lol


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