Saturday, 19 October 2013

Netflix, stop judging me please.

Today I am at home sick. I just watched a season of "Sister Wives". It prompted me to share this issue that had been bothering me for a wee while. Let me know of what you think.

Netflix and Hulu. Pretty amazing things if you think about it.
No ads. Shows on demand. 80s action films. Black and white movies.

We had heard of Netflix back home, and we were looking forward to getting it when we got here.

So, days home sick will never be the same again. Rainy Sunday mornings have a fantastic new element to them. I have watched every episode of "My Fair Wedding". All of these factors help to describe the awesomeness that is indeed a result of TV on demand.

But there are two issues I have with Netflix at this point. One negative and one positive.

First of all. Netflix judges me. Like, totally judges me.
Does anyone else feel like this?

Our first observation of this judgement was after we 'lazy Sundayed' a movie called "The Grey".
After this ill chosen 'masterpiece' we had some of the worst recommendations made for us. Maybe its our bad for choosing an average movie, but really Netflix, just because I watched one bad movie doesn't mean I automatically like shit movies in general.

Also, Rob would like to add that just because we watched "the Grey" a movie about Wolves systematically killing a group of people lost in the wilderness - does NOT mean he wants to watch '"Greys anatomy"' - a show about sad, sexually frustrated people that work in a hospital. (Boo Ellen Pompei, Boo).

It's like, if you watch one bad movie then you are judged to enjoy utter garbage.The suggestions they now make for me are embarrassing. Who do you think I am Netflix? What program or algorithm tells you that I want to watch "The Beautician and The Beast", "American Pie Band Camp", "Fast and the Furious 17" or the lesser known "Evil Dead 7.5, the cats revenge"?

Stop labelling me.

The second issue I have with Netflix, is more an observation, and more comical than offensive.
Who the hell makes your movie genres up?

I don't know who creates them. But I want their job.

I love turning on Netflix to see the latest absurd movie genres they created on my home page.

I had no idea I could search for a love story that was so geographically specific.

We watched "Commando" and suddenly there was a choice of "revenge movies from the 80s".
Then this one turned up. I like that it isn't just a race against time, but a VIOLENT race against time.

The latest I have seen is "Revenge titles with strong female leads". So bloody specific.

I have decided to come up with my own ideas for possible Netflix genres:
"cat caused falls from glory"
"badger revenge titles from the 90s"
"independent lesbian fire fighter love stories"
"medieval themed films with schizophrenic protagonists"
"angry house wife meets loveable animal - tales of friendship and scones"
"80s movies where bachelors turn out to be great fathers, but only if there are two other bachelors as well"

I think I could definitely work for Netflix.

note: That is my PMS fuelled rant about my paranoia that a TV on demand site is judging me. Perhaps you have a similar feeling, or perhaps you are now judging me too. Let the cards fall as they may. But be warned, choose your shows carefully, because once you choose a show. Netflix may stereotype you. Also, please can I get a job with you Netflix. I would like to spend all day creating random film genres.

note: I do appreciate that some people may think I deserve all the judging that Netflix wants to give me if I just watched a season of "Sister Wives" or every episode of "My Fair Wedding".


  1. I'm wondering why the animal channel (on Sky) doesn't just rename itself the everyday domesticated pet channel. When I think animal channel I expect documentaries about wild animals not a marathon of cute and cuddly, cats101, my cat from hell, tanked, and the like.

  2. Lol I would be sad if I wanted to watch wild animals and tanked came on hahaha

  3. O em gee, I thought it was only me to think that Netflix is judgy. But girl, this is the best place to ruin your weekend on couch easily!

    1. Haha I know right?! Whole days have been lost :p

  4. I'm not sure how I missed this. But your genres are amazing. FYI.

    1. Hahaha thanks, I had fun with them. I totally want to work with them.


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